Brian and the NBA

I've been writing a number of post drafts - ideas for things to flesh out later. Many of these are just titles; since the title is the most important part of any piece of writing, I've always believed (which has led to my bad habit of working in at least one pun into the title of nearly every academic paper I've written). One of the common themes of many of these have been blurbs detailing background information on my relationship to various aspects of my life. I decided to finish one of the less pertinent but more fun ones, especially that the high point of the basketball season is upon us.

I also chose to finish out this post because of an amazing finish to the Detriot/Denver game tonight. It wasn't on TV, but I saw the recap - 'Sheed, fresh off of serving a suspension for having a league-leading 18 Technicals, made a MIRACLE half-court 3 to force overtime and helped the Pistons win. One in a million shot, check it out on ESPN (or whenever it goes up on Youtube).

My relationship with sports has always been tenuous. I was an avid baseball fan in my youth; the kind of kid who had to collect every single baseball card from that year's set (go Topps, screw you Fleet and Upper Deck!). I would go to Angels games when I was 6-8 and living in Riverside...Anaheim being closest, and the team that my neighbour and friend Warner was a fan of (I was way more into the Dodgers due to Orel Herschiser). My real favourite team was Oakland - I was NUTS about Jose Canseco back when Mark McGuire was seen as his Robin. I was too young to be cognizant of the fact that he was a figure of mockery even then (at one A's game someone sitting near me threw a nude blowup doll onto the field while shouting his name).
While I played baseball for 4 years following my move to Oregon (I was a good hitter, and passing shortstop, I had a hard time doing things like running...lack of willpower to push myself. Also I was a social outcast and didn't like my teammates), my enthusiasm for the game dwindled a great deal. Without a MLB team in Portland, this was hardly shocking. Going to a few Mariners games wasn't enough to keep the passion alive. While Portland is destined to recieve a pro baseball team in about a decade, all they have now is basketball. And a fairly proud history it is, given that after winning their NBA title in 77, the Blazers were in the playoffs every single year until 2004. I moved to Portland at the perfect time; the early 90s Blazers led by Clyde the Glide Drexler (now on Dancing with the Stars! Which I would watch if I was immortal and life wasn't too short) made the NBA finals, losing only to Jordan and the Bulls. You couldn't go anywhere in Portland without seeing gigantic "Rip City" posters everywhere. It is strange, but Oregon is perhaps the second biggest basketball state aside from Indiana (whose importance is dwindling) - Nike and Phil Knight reside there, which is why U of O football and basketball players have better facilities then perhaps any other team, college or pro. And Paul Allen, the owner of the team, is one of the richest people in the world.

Of course, I was only somewhat interested in the Blazers at that point. Too poor to attend many games, but I watched a ton (and my mother's ballroom dance troupe performed at a number of halftimes). Sports in general lost any and all importance in high school and college, and I went some 4 years without watching any TV whatsoever - but my love for basketball remained. Unlike the anonymous warlike strategical grit that permeats NFL games, and the slow pace and largely individual hitter vs. pitcher duels that comprise baseball, the NBA holds by far the largest entertainment factor for me. I think it comprises the best dynamic between team cooperation and individual triumph.

I'll cut the history lesson for now, and get into what I originally intended to do - list my teams in ranking of favourite to least favourite! My determination for this is, all other factors being equal, which team would I prefer come out on top. I'll explain a little bit about my relationship to each team.

1. Portland - Mostly above. While I loved them even in the "Jail Blazer" era, their recovery from that - highlighted by the impressive 2006 draft maneuvers to get the best two rookies of the year, Brandon Roy and Lamarcus Aldridge, for essentially nothing has made this an exciting and very promising rebuilding time. Soon the Blazers will be back in the elite Western Conference teams. (Update. I was just talking to josh about why Zach Randolph, despite putting up career numbers, needs to be traded. Here's a pretty good reason why).

2. Detriot - Partly due to my Trail Blazer affiliation. My favourite player of the time was Rasheed Wallace, and I transfered my affection to the Pistons when he moved there. This trade brought the Pistons together, the trade that won them a championship. And even more importantly, they ended the reign of the hated Lakers Dynasty at a time when I was increasing my focus on basketball (aka, out of college and thus had a TV). Most hate their slower style of play, but I absolutely adore watching them play. Not just because of their players - Detriot plays a style that is unique. Other teams play great defense, but no one else can just break down their opponents capacity to play the style of basketball that they wanted to. It isn't just that the other teams plays are well defended against; you can really see their planned execution getting ground up and spit out. The only team, announcer, and crowd that really thrive off of that gritty, smashmouth kind of feeling. Brutal and beautiful.

3. Dallas - Not a team I've supported for long. The sheer dominance of Dirk Nowitzki that even increased after Nash's departure has made them a fun team. A young and awesome coach, and a team so impressively deep. Like the Pistons, the team can be won by any number of different players. The Pistons probably have less consistency in who their leading scorer will be any given night than any other team (Hamilton? Billups? Wallace? Tayshaun? C-Webb? who knows!). Dallas used to be the same, although now Nowitzki has raised his game to the level where he's almost always throwing down 20 or 30. Which is why he is far and away the MVP this year. I just want this team to get a ring, especially since they got robbed last year. My interest in them will dip after they manage that.

4. Denver - Why Denver? Because they're fun to watch offensively, they're kind of underdogs, and Carmelo Anthony is far and away my favourite of the '03 draft wonder children. I'm real into AI as well; paradoxically, his departure from the 76ers this year made me like BOTH teams vastly more. I just wanted Iverson to play for a contender very badly, and for the 76ers to get into rebuilding mode.

5. New Orleans - Simple: CP3. Chris Paul might be the likable player in the league (well, tied with Brandon Roy). Plus I'm a big fan of Tyson Chandler now that he's improved so dramatically (making the Ben Wallace trade look even dumber for the Bulls).

6. Phoenix - The most joyable team to watch, ceratinly, thanks to Steve Nash. He didn't deserve the MVP the past two years though...I would rank this team higher, but Amare isn't very likable (although you have to root for his remarkable knee surgery recovery), and Marion is too sullen to like that much. Raja Bell and Barbosa are my two favourite players on this team, easily. It would anger me greatly if this team didn't win a ring in the next year or two, though...if Dallas wins one this year, then I'll shoot Phoenix ahead of them in terms of teams I want to succeed. Nash et al deserve one before they have to break apart this current lineup.

7. Toronto - I like Bosh, and the wacky Europeans here. Plus they're Canadian, big underdog factor.

8. Houston - In my more overt sports hating days (now I just have contempt for the NFL, and an interest in the stories about baseball but not really watching baseball itself) I used to think that sports were utterly unimportant in the bigger picture (I was more into, say, Fantasy Congress Leagues in college.) But Houston's a big example why this isn't always the case. People have talked a lot about the future relationship of the US with China, wondering how events will shake out given our past and their growth in power, soon to eclipse our own. One reason why this China as the new superpower thing doesn't concern me too much has to do with one simple fact: Tracy McGrady has the best selling jersey in China. The Chinese are becoming more and more obsessed with basketball, and due to Yao Ming being on the Rockets, the Chinese have really responded to the NBA and the Rockets in particular. I don't think it is at all implausible that two 7 footers, Yao Ming and Yi Jianlian (who will be drafted in the 4-10 range in the upcoming NBA draft), will be crucial players in US-Sino diplomatic relationships in the future.

9. Boston - I live here, shouldn't I like them more? Well, geography doesn't mean everything. I hope they improve though. Getting Kevin Durant would bump them up a ton.

10. Washington - Gilbert Arenas! Agent Zero! The most honest athlete ever, and the first to blog extensively. Just check it out and you'll fall in love with him.

11. Utah - I liked them back in the Malone/Stockman era, just because they put up a valiant effort against the Lakers and Bulls.

12. New York - Mix of likeable and really hatable players on this team (screw you, Starbury). But for such a storied franchise, they really deserve more success.

13. Minnesota - Mainly because they were a foil to the Lakers. And KG deserves a ring.

14. Orlando - Darko!

15. Atlanta - I root for underdogs, and the Hawks are, well...underdogs.

16. Seattle - Washington State love. Although they'll be in Oklahoma in a year or so...

17. Golden State - Some interesting players this year (Ellis, Beidrins, Peitrus). Don Nelson's the coach, so they're basically a 2002 era Mavericks team with less talent and more injuries.

18. Sacramento - I used to like the Kings a lot more. Then Bibby fell from grace and they traded for Ron Artest.

19. LA Clippers - The not-Lakers LA team. Also, Sam Cassell has huge balls, and will demonstrate this fact.

20. Charlotte - 'Stashe!

21. Philadephia - Hope they rebuild.

22. Memphis - This is the NBA city I'm most likely to live in from 2008-2010, sadly. So I feel some hope that they'll get better in time for that.

23. Milwaukee - I have less feelings about Milwaukee than I do any other team in the league. Utter neutrality.

24. New Jersey - Their most likable player is Jason Kidd...and he beat his ex-wife (although to be fair, she beat him a lot too).

25. Chicago Bulls - All the signs of a team I don't really like. Former overly-long dynasty? Check. Pistons rival? Check. I hated Ben Wallace for leaving to them, because he transitioned from underpaid workhorse anti-hero to over-paid underperformer on a team I didn't like. Glad the Pistons didn't pay him, but sad to see him go.

26. LA Lakers - From the above comments, you'd think they'd be in last place. But while I still am not a huge Kobe fan, it is much harder to hate the 2005-2007 era Lakers, with their young talent in Bynum and Farmar, and Walton progeny (aka, son of the greatest Blazer ever). If Kobe left this team, I'd be a much bigger fan.

27. Indiana Pacers - Brawl, 'nuff said (see bottom).

28. Cleveland - Ok, so I'm not a Lebron fan. I have a hard time accounting for this. Just my dislike of the universally annointed King? I'm not sure.

29. San Antonio Spurs - The Spurs don't have any one dislikable (except perhaps Robert Horry and Bruce Bowen), but they put me to sleep. Duncan has more rings than he does smiles in his lifetime, Parker suffers from the fate of French and Spanish players to be much less jovial and amusing than the German/Eastern European ones (although the rap album he recently put out in French was pretty hilarious). I just want them to stop winning. It is getting boring. If they win the Western Conference this year and shut out the deserving Suns and Mavs, I will be PISSED.

30. Miami Heat - Part of this lingers from last year's ridiclous Semis and Finals...I feel like I should like Wade, but I don't. And while I LOVE Shaq as a person, I can't stand any team he is on. Basically he carried a good percentage of my Laker dislike on his shoulders with this transfer, fair or not.

And while this post is roughly 50 times larger than I had planned on, one more thing I have to share...since I like to bury the entertaining stuff at the bottom. Apparently in Finland they have a test all high schoolers have to take to graduate, and one of the questions was on identifying art. Apparently on these tests and government documents they meant to put Picasso's Guernica, but instead they put a mock basketball version of the painting that blog Wizznutzz created to commemorate the infamous Pistons/Pacers brawl (note 'Sheed's baldspot):


See the full story here

Update: My friend alterted me to a great video of Sheed practicing these ridiclous shots (I've seen other footage of him working on that 3/4ths court shot...he has such amazing arm strength he can actually shoot that far with a quasi-regular stroke) which I have seen before, but forgot to include here.